2010 Recap

I don't know if I'll have time to write on here again before the year ends, so I'll do a quick recap now.

First of all, happy holidays and I hope everyone has had a good year. :)

2010 has been a pretty busy year for me. I started working again on Jan 4th, 2010, the first Monday of the year. Since then I've invested enormous amounts of time and effort there to rise up as fast as possible and increase my earning potential. I was promoted in February as the lead of my department on my shift.

While working there I met Pete, my former manager. It was great to work with a person of wisdom like him, who allowed me to grow and was open to new ideas. As a team under his leadership I feel like we could accomplish any task. He quit in the beginning of November, but I still talk to him frequently as a good friend and business partner.

With Pete's departure, I was again promoted again and given full control of my department during all hours of operation. I now work with a lot more people, and it is rewarding but also draining. There are some exciting projects coming up in the future that I am looking forward to taking charge on.

I'm now trying to get enrolled in college, as well as a gym membership to get in shape. I made a promise to myself to try to get into the Air Force, with or without support from anyone. I've worked for a year, and I can't put this off any longer.

As far as family goes, I haven't seen Crystal or Eric in person since July. I miss them both so much. :( I hope I can get in the Air Force and we can live together, and if I end up not being able to get in, that my tenure at my current job would be good enough on my resume to get a good job in Kansas to be with my family.

It's 6 days from Christmas, but it feels nothing like it to me. Normally this is one of my favourite times of the year, but this time around, it just hurts so much knowing that I'm missing my son's first Christmas, and that he still doesn't have his father there to see him grow up. It's amazing how fast this year has seemed to move. Honestly though, I don't know anymore that Crystal has any feelings left for me. I sincerely hope I am wrong, but if I'm not then I'll just have to keep doing my best to send money to help support Eric, and try to visit him any chance I have. I'll still try to get into the Air Force to serve my county and give my son a better life. I love him and his momma more than life itself.

I've rambled on long enough. I need to get back to filling out stuff for college.

Best wishes to everyone, have a happy new year!

Read more...

As cliche as it sound, I feel 'lost'.

I've been so busy with work that I've neglected this blog, though maybe I just don't have much to say. Well today I have a ton on my mind, but not enough time to express it all.

I don't know where Crystal and I stand anymore, but I don't think it's good. It's crazy how something so small, something that wasn't even an argument, could escalate into something so horrific in the course of just a few hours.

It's like the two of us are seeing two different realities. It's gone on so long now, who knows which reality is right anymore? She takes things I say, ask, do the wrong way and upsets her. It's almost like I'm talking into a machine that completely twists my words and spits them back out at her with malice.

I don't think she's making it up when she feels this way though. Just as I feel my story is the absolute truth as I understand it, I think the same goes for her. From my point of view she's being mean for no reason and rarely showing affection, but perhaps from her honest point of view, I'm treating her like shit and trying to make her feel bad.

How do I handle with something like this? I don't think I'd say I have depression, but I haven been depressed for a while. Crystal on the other hand, does have depression. I've tried to understand it, but it's like where 1+1 = 2 for her, I see the same thing as 1+tree=square. How can I possibly express my feelings for her clearly and the same for her towards me?

Despite feeling hurt and uncared for at times, I've never stopped believing that she truly loves, or at least loved me. If only everyone could see the way she'd treat me and care for me, you'd know why I say this. If she didn't love me, she wouldn't have gone through all of this pain. Just as I am in pain, i f I didn't truly love her I wouldn't have stayed with her or had the emotions I have for her.

I just hope someday I can have a chance to truly express everything to her, but if it is really too late, then I sincerely want to thank her for the years of love and happiness.

I'll always love Crystal and our son Eric and I hope I can still be a part of his life.


----------------
Now playing: The Killers - [Hot Fuss #02] Mr. Brightside [foobar2000 v1.1]
via FoxyTunes

Read more...

First Listen: MGMT, 'Congratulations'

Yessssssssssssssssssss I've been waiting for this album for longer than I can remember now :)! MGMT's sophomore album, Congratulations is streaming on npr.org until the album's release on April 13. The style is different from their first album which had a kind of tribal psychedelic mood through out it, this time their direction turns to a more far-out traveling through space feel, like their early album released under their old name of The Management, but also with strong influences of surf rock. As usual, the mood of the songs jump all over the place taking you on a trip that you won't find anywhere else. Listen to the whole album from start to finish if you have the time. It's really that good. If you feel like other music out there is lacking, drone, rehashed, then give this band a listen and you may be pleasantly surprised. My only qualm is that it is shorter than I'd have hoped. You can read an article on MGMT and their new album Congratulations as well as find a link to listen to the album here.

Addendum: I need to figure out how to give my posts more room so pictures don't cut off :( Anywho, you can see the full picture by clicking on it.

Read more...

This is just...lol

Some people in my linkshell on FFXI mentioned "epic beard guy" so I had to youtube him to see what it was all about.

Read more...

Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach

Wow what can I say about the Gorillaz's (or would it be Gorillaz'?) newest album, Plastic Beach, aside from simply amazing. It's definitely a contrast from their last album, Demon Days. This album includes musical contributions from many great artists including: Bobby Womack, Mos Def, Snoop Dogg, Lou Reed, Bashy, Kano, Little Dragon, Hypnotic Brass Ensemble, and many more. As I said in my previous post, you can listen to the album in full here or here (has previously unseen artwork in the gallery) for a limited time. I hope you'll give it a listen!

I finally found a bit of time to read a bit this morning before completely passing out. You may have heard of it in the media as of late, Kick-Ass which is a movie coming out this April. What you may not know is that it's an ongoing comic published by Marvel. I have to say, I'm only on the third issue (out of 8 for the first volume) and it is fantastic. Might not be your thing if you aren't into gore, especially with the introduction of Hit Girl. Let me tell you, they don't take care of criminals the Batman way.



The story follows Dave Lizewski, a New York City high school student, who is just normal. He's not super smart, not a jock, not the class clown, or the popular kid. He's just himself, an avid comic book fan, with a question. Why do people try so hard to be like Paris Hilton but nobody tries to be like Spider-Man? His transformation into Kick-Ass isn't what you'd normally expect for a comic book hero. His parents weren't murdered in front of him. He didn't get bitten by a radioactive spider. He doesn't have a power ring or get super powers from cosmic rays. In fact, he has no powers at all. He's just a teenager who is doing what we've all thought about doing at one point of our lives but never did. I seriously encourage everyone to give it a try, even if you aren't a comic book fan, or see the movie when it comes out. You can watch the trailer for it here.

I've been so busy trying to juggle my time around, between work, helping my friend through his breakup and move, being there for the special people in my life, and just finding time to relax and do my own thing. You start to wish there were more hours in the day! I want to go back to college not just for myself but for reasons I will explain in a later blog post. As a final remark I want to give props and congratulations to all the athletes that performed in this year's winter Olympic games.

Until next time :)

Read more...

Exclusive First Listen: Gorillaz

Hear 'Plastic Beach' In Its Entirety A Week Before Its Release
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2lfjsx/www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124114812&ft=1&f=98679384/r:t

Short post just to get the link out there.

Read more...

Not dead yet!

I've put off making a real post for so long I don't even know what to talk about anymore from then to now. First I was going to post on Christmas, then pushed it back to New Year, then to my first day of work, then to the birth of my son, then on Valentine's/Lunar New Year. Well I'm finally taking a bit of time to post :p

So first of all 새해 복 많이 받으세요 ! I hope everyone has a great new year! I started working again at the start of this year. It feels so good to be working again, let me tell you :) I've been trying my best there and I ended up getting promoted to lead of my department. So things are going great there, and I'm just loving work. I hope the experience I get from it will help me in whatever I decide to do in the future.

On February 1, 2010 at 8:30am my son Eric Wesley was born weighing 7lbs 12oz and 20in long at Wesley Medical Center in Wichita, Kansas.



He really is a blessing. He has a condition called Spina Bifida and he's gone through so much already. He's a little trooper though and he's been recovering nicely from his surgery and eating a lot. He's got a great mom taking care of him.

So I found out today that one of my friends broke up with his girlfriend after finding out she went out on a date with another guy last night that she met on a dating site. It was that plus a lot of other things that finally pushed him enough to leave her. I really think he'll be better off without her. She lied too much and hurt him one too many times. I may be helping him move tomorrow so he can get away from her.

Well it's almost time for work so time to wrap this up. I hope to be more active on my blog though I doubt many if any people read it, it's nice to just get it out and look back at it later.

Always hwaiting!!

Read more...

Complications

Isn't it strange how even if two people love each other, and want to be together, things can be complicated? That is what happened tonight. The girl I love, always have, always will, even though we aren't together now, asked me a question. An innocent one, but one that took a lot of guts to do. I couldn't give her the answer she wanted, though I really wanted to. I had suspicions of how she felt, but I didn't want to get my hopes up and make thinks awkward between us later from me assuming she would want to be with me again. Well I find out tonight that those suspicions were right, though not before hurting her bad from the answer I gave. I wish I could start this night over...

Crystal, I love you so much. I know now how you feel about me and I'm sorry for hurting you. Please be my girl again. I understand if you need time after tonight, and I'll wait as long as it takes.

Read more...